Pause, Purpose, Possibility

Episode 21: This Ain't Your Dad's Holy Grail: Men and Meaning (A Conversation with Dane Anthony)

Each episode of the old TV show "Red Green" would end with the all-male cast gathering for the opening of the regular meeting of the Possum Lodge by bowing their heads for the Man’s Prayer:
 
I’m a man.
But I can change.
If I have to.
I guess.
 
While it may be true that some things have changed since then, men still have a lot of work to do – a lot of inner work, a lot of relational work, a lot of anti-racist and anti-misogynist justice work, a lot of maturing and transformation and vulnerability to embrace, a lot of posturing and armor to let go.
 
My guest this week, Dane Anthony, explores with me some of the ways that change, growth, transformation can happen, and not only among men, starting with questions like:  How would you describe who you are without referring to your professional role or title?  What might you need to “unlearn” in order to open doors and pathways to understanding yourself and your work in the world more deeply and with greater authenticity and joy?  How might exploring new images of God or the holy in one’s life open up access to one’s unique “soulprint,” the sliver or spark of the divine in each of us that invites our truest selves into lives of mattering and belonging?
 
Dane’s professional path focuses on facilitating conversations of meaning and purpose, helping others to explore the deeper connections that bring awareness and grounded practices to work and relationships. He has fostered engagement-centered leadership in the following contexts:
more than 30 years in Higher Education jn university chaplaincy, as a student services administrator, and as a faculty member.
spiritual guide and mentor for more than 30 years through spiritual direction, vocational discernment, men’s groups and retreat leadership.
20+ years’ experience teaching and consulting with the StrengthsFinder Inventory for individuals and businesses.
 
Dane earned his bachelor’s degree from Missouri State University, and his Master of Divinity from Midwestern Seminary.  In addition, he holds certifications in Spiritual Direction.  My primary connection with Dane has been as a Facilitator in the Circle of Trust Retreat process in association with Parker Palmer and the Center for Courage & Renewal.  
 
He has been married to Maggie for 30 years. They have 3 grown children.  
 

Episode 20: An Unboxed Life (Living a Life that Matters, part 3)

Going through the boxes (or closets, or backpacks) of the "stuff" of one's life can be, like many things, both daunting and illuminating.  What are you carrying, and what's calling to be "unboxed," to come into the light and air -- maybe in some cases in order to be let go, and in others inviting you to live with intention into openness and possibility?  How might letting go of the overwhelm of too many competing tasks and to-dos, obligations and commitments and priorities and pressures open up new space for meaning, and for your heart's deepest yearnings and joys?  An "unboxed life" might contain habits of thinking and living that maybe served you well at one time, but may no longer serve as well, and need to be reframed or replaced.  It might also contain stories of who you've been or thought yourself to be but maybe are no longer -- and tantalizing hints of the stories that have yet to live themselves out through who you might become.

Episode 19: Freeing Yourself to Really Be Yourself: A Lifelong Journey with Neal Hagberg

What if I try this new thing, and some people don’t like me?  My guest this week, Neal Hagberg, voiced these worries of his own many years ago to his then 8-year-old daughter.  Her response (you’ll love it!) set him free to take the risk, and opened up his life in ways he could’ve never imagined. She helped him to realize that “If you free yourself up to really be yourself, then you actually become yourself.”
Across our time together he shares other stories of hard choices (letting go of the “safe” and lucrative path of becoming a doctor in order to become a singer-songwriter), of flaws and failures, of the importance of curiosity, beauty, and imagination in the face of all that’s broken in the world.  We explore what it means in that kind of world to choose to “love anyway.”
 
Neal Hagberg is Director of Tennis & Life Camps at Gustavus Adolphus College, which has been recognized as one of the top tennis camps in the country by Tennis Magazine.  He is a USPTA Elite Professional and has worked at Tennis and Life Camps (TLC) since 1981, and has been director since 2010. In 2019, he received the national Community Service Award from the USPTA and USTA.  In addition to being a teaching pro, Neal designed the “life” portion of TLC with legendary Gustavus coach and teacher Steve Wilkinson, who taught a radical, simple approach to winning more matches: take the focus off winning; and who taught both tennis and life skills by focusing on the only things we can control: our attitude, our effort, and our sportsmanship.
 
Neal is a 1981 graduate of Gustavus Adolphus College; received his M.Div. at Luther Seminary; and was also a touring singer/songwriter for 25 years with his life-partner Leandra Peak as half of the duo Neal & Leandra.  He performed concerts in 45 states and Canada, in venues ranging from coffeehouses to Carnegie Hall; and is the recipient of two McKnight Artist Fellowships, one for Performing and one for Composing.

Episode 18: From Star Stuff to Cowpies in a Warm Summer Rain (Living a Life that Matters, Part 2)

The word “matter” can have multiple meanings.  There’s the one which is the overarching focus of this podcast, the one that’s invoked when we say that something or someone “matters” or when I ask, What really does “matter,” and why? 
 
And then there’s the meaning of the word that points to physical, tangible, measurable “matter”: things, objects, the “stuff” that everything is made of, that we can see and smell and taste and touch and hear.... Where I’m really going with this is to wonder about whether and why and how “matter matters.”  This episode explores ways in which our physical, material, embodied existence – from hard work and good food to skin color and mortality – can be part of what it means to live a life that matters. 

Episode 17: Pause (Part 1)

The need for "pause" is built into the nature of things -- between inhale and exhale as we breathe, between the beats of our hearts, and (as we hear in this episode) between "stimulus and response" throughout our lives.  And yet it's so easy to neglect; it seems immensely difficult to actually do in any kind of consistent and meaningful way in the face of the relentless and frenetic pace of our days.
 
In this conversation, the members of the Milkweed Group (Kelli, Chris, Colleen, and Kelsey) explore with each other what pause means to us, why it's important, how it can take many different shapes.  Whatever form it takes, however frequent or rare it might be, "pause" is crucial for helping us to shift how we see things, how we understand ourselves and our place in the bigger picture.  Whether as a moment of relative quiet or stillness in the midst of frenzy, or as a burst of movement and physical activity in the face of stagnation, pause invites a reframing, a new and different way of knowing and of being and of living in the world.

Episode 16: Navigating Life when EVERYTHING is a Priority

When daily life can feel overwhelming, and when EVERYTHING feels like it’s supposed to be a priority, how can it make sense to make plans or have goals at all, let alone to live with intention into a sense of vocation or calling? 
My guest this time is the wise and delightful Dr. Danielle McGeough, founder and host of the podcast PlanGoalPlan.  She talks with me about re-imagining what goal-setting and planning can be.  She invites people to step into their full potential in a way that both gives them energy and joy AND calls forth mindfulness and presence.  Noting that women underestimate their capabilities by 50% as compared to men (even more among women of color), Danielle makes the case that planning and goal-setting needs room for adaptability, resilience, and emergence; it needs to fuel an expansive imagination that taps into the deep yearnings and callings within us.  “You wanna learn how to plan?  You wanna hang out with some moms!” she says, and goes on to describe playfulness as key to the relationship between parenting, planning and goal setting, leadership, and improv.
 
Dr. Danielle McGeough is a professor, mom, business owner, community volunteer, and organization junkie. On the faculty of the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls, Iowa, she has more than 18 years of experience teaching, and a knack for guiding people as they learn about themselves.  She started Plan Goal Plan to help working moms gain clarity on who they are and what matters – and trust me, it’s accessible and meaningful to everyone.
 
 

Episode 15 -- Living a Life that Matters, part 1

With reminiscences of growing up on a dairy farm in Minnesota as a starting point, this episode wonders:  What really matters, and how do we know?  What does it mean to live a life that matters?  We find ourselves deep in paradox here:  that people and experiences, things and details, my life and yours can both not matter at all, and that they can at the same time matter infinitely and intrinsically.  The scattered details about the rhythms and routines of a particular dairy farm family set to the soundtrack of CCO radio playing in the barn, frozen pizza and rocky road ice cream and D&D adventures and a TV lawyer caring about folks on the margins:  none of it matters, and all of it matters.
 
This episode is an attempt – one of a collection of attempts over time and across several episodes – to try some ideas on for size.  To wonder aloud.  To sift through memory and story, panning for some grains or nuggets of possibility, to see if I can sit still and be quiet enough to catch even a fleeting glimpse of what matters.  And beyond that, to invite you ever so gently – softly, slowly now – to turn your gaze in the same direction so that we can share a glimpse together, without startling it back into hiding or scaring it into taking flight.

Episode 14 -- Friendship, Grief, and Love without Limits: Living into the Calling to Be the Person You Are

Jacqueline Bussie acknowledges that it took the sudden and tragic death of her best friend and husband, Matt, to help her to “unlearn” the cultural traps of overwork and of equating self-worth with productivity.  In this poignant and delightful conversation, Jacqueline speaks of friendship as her highest calling, of leaning into the long and anguished process of being “reborn” in the years since Matt’s death, and of embracing the importance of rest in seeking justice and in living into the calling to BE a person.  She asks – and invites us to ask ourselves: “What if I left behind all the titles & everything else and just allowed myself to love and be loved – would it be enough?”
 
Dr. Jacqueline Bussie is an award-winning author, professor, public theologian, and student of life in all its messy beauty, as well as a much sought after speaker and workshop facilitator. Her first book, The Laughter of the Oppressed won the national Trinity Prize. Her 2ndbook, Outlaw Christian: Finding Authentic Faith by Breaking the Rules won the 2017 Gold Medal Illumination Award for Christian Living and received a coveted starred review from Publishers Weekly. Her 3rd and latest book, Love Without Limits: Jesus’ Radical Vision for a Love with No Exceptions won the Reader’s Favorite Bronze Medal International Book Award for Christian Living, the 2020 IAN Outstanding Religion Book of the Year Award, and 3rdPlace IAN Non-Fiction Book of the Year Award. Also, Publisher’s Weekly named Love Without Limits “a must-read for all Christians interested in inclusivity for their communities.” An active servant-leader in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, Jacqueline spent the last twenty years teaching religion to undergraduates at ELCA colleges and serving as the founding Director of the Forum on Faith and Life at Concordia College in Moorhead, Minnesota. Jacqueline's favorite things to do are walk on the beach, read good books, ride in the front car of roller coasters, spend time with friends, and travel to any place she's never been before.
 

Episode 13 -- Winter's Light

As every season has its mysteries and magic, its occasion for suffering and wonder, ache and awe, its lessons to teach and questions to pose, so does winter. And so do the interior winters of our lives.  What wisdom might the cold and the dark of deep winter hold?  How might our search for meaning and purpose be enriched by winter's harsh rigors -- and its gifts?

Episode 12 -- The Revolution Will Have Dancing and Good Food: Living with Intention and Attention

Instead of being overwhelmed by "more, bigger, faster," what if it’s possible to live a different kind of life?  What if instead of being shackled to the hamster wheel we take tiny, purposeful, lasting steps toward depth and learning, toward sufficiency and wholeness? 
 
My guest this week is parent and teacher and professional listener Ellie Roscher.   Ellie is also a sought-after workshop and retreat facilitator, a yoga instructor, and prolific author of several books, including Remarkable Rose, The Embodied Path, 12 Tiny Things, Play Like a Girl and How Coffee Saved My Life.  Her writing appears in The Baltimore Review, Eunoia Review, Mothering Spirit, Inscape Magazine, and elsewhere.  She holds an MFA in Writing from Sarah Lawrence College and an MA in Theology from Luther Seminary.  Find out more at ellieroscher.com. 
 
One especially important way to love, she says, is to pay attention.  We’re likely to miss the many wonders of the world around us because we don’t or won’t or can’t slow down enough to listen to the sound of our own breath.  While drinking a glass of water and taking three cleansing breaths a day won’t end systemic oppression, they will shift something.